5 SURPRISING PEOPLE TO HELP YOU
When looking for caregiving assistance or advice, you sometimes have to think outside the box
BY:MELISSA A. GOODWIN
You know how it is—taking care of a loved one can be so rewarding, but there are times when it feels overwhelming, too. You're juggling family, career and caregiving. You want to do everything you can but you just can't do it all. So where can caregivers turn for help when the decisions and responsibilities seem like just too much? Certainly there are a lot of people able and eager to help—the trick is knowing who can meet your needs and how to find them. Here, you'll meet five surprising people you might call on to give you a hand.
Volunteers
Help with caregiving may be just around the corner—literally. About 750 programs throughout the 50 states use volunteers to provide caregiving services to families in their local communities. The volunteers will drive your loved one to the doctor, shop for groceries or give you a few hours of respite—usually at no charge. And, low income is not a requirement for receiving services.
"Caregivers can have real peace of mind because the volunteers come right from within their communities," says Gail Simmons, former director of the Foothills Caring Corps in Carefree, Arizona. "These are your own neighbors, usually people who are retired and want to give something back."
Programs near you can be found by accessing the Faith in Action website and clicking on "Find a Program," or by calling (877) 324-8411. Caregiving programs that are part of the Faith in Action network must train their volunteers and many perform background checks before allowing volunteers to participate.
Not all programs connect through Faith in Action, so if you don't find a volunteer organization listed for your community, call your state Area Agency on Aging or the National Association of Area Agencies on Aging at (800) 677-1116. When calling, describe your specific need as completely as possible.
Local places of worship and town social workers are other good sources of information about local volunteer programs, as are schools and service organizations such as Kiwanis, Rotary and Lions.
Geriatric Care Managers
When you feel overwhelmed by decisions about a loved one's care, the cavalry can arrive in the form of a Geriatric Care Manager (GCM), an elder-care professional who knows how to navigate the maze of caregiving options and narrow them down to those that best suit your circumstances.
"I look at the whole picture, including the client's medical condition, financial and legal situation, as well as family dynamics," says Nancy Johnson, an independent GCM with her own firm, Affinity Associates, in central Massachusetts. "Making decisions about care can become highly emotional for family members. Since my recommendations are based on practical considerations, decision-making often becomes much easier for them."
Most GCMs are licensed social workers or nurses. The National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers (NAPGCM) requires its members be licensed in their fields, trained in geriatrics and adhere to its guidelines for professional conduct.
Fees for services vary by location and average between $100 and $200 per hour; they can be much higher in large cities. But hiring a care manager can ultimately save you money; the GCM is usually able to negotiate better fees for other services than you can get on your own. GCMs also can help you avoid costly mistakes with regard to financial, legal and insurance matters.
Search the NAPGCM website or call (520) 881-8008 to find a care manager in your community.
Nurses
Hospitals are hectic places, so when a loved one is hospitalized, it can feel intimidating to try to get busy people to stop and answer all your questions about rehabilitation, future care and support services. Nurses have frequent contact and interaction with patients and families, so they are often more available to answer your questions.
Nurses also regularly cross paths with visiting physical therapists and other nurses, so they get the "inside scoop" on rehab centers, assisted living and long-term care facilities. They often have a good sense of the perceived quality of care at other facilities and what to expect from rehabilitation and beyond. And, they can often tell you about other available services, who the best providers are and how to find them.
Hospital Patient Advocates
What do you do if your loved one is hospitalized and you have a problem with the hospital that you can't seem to get resolved, no matter how you try? What if you have questions, but feel intimidated about asking them or are afraid of being considered a pest?
The answer is to seek out the hospital's patient advocate. By law, all hospitals are required to employ at least one to act as a liaison between you and hospital staff. Their job is to improve communication, obtain information, explain hospital policies and procedures, try to resolve conflicts between you or the patient and hospital staff, and to look into concerns you have about your loved one's care.
You don't need to have a big problem to ask for the patient advocate's help. It may just be that you are afraid you will become too emotional when talking to doctors or nurses, or are worried about being labeled "difficult." Advocates, whose services are provided free of charge to patients and their families, are there for just such situations, so there is no need to be reluctant to seek them out.
Parish Nurses
Sometimes called faith community, congregational or church nurses, parish nurses are registered, state-licensed nurses on the staff of a faith-based organization such as a church, synagogue or mosque. Their role is to provide support and counseling as opposed to hands-on medical care. Parish nurses tailor their programs to the needs of their own congregations, but in many cases you needn't be a member in order to seek their help.
Parish nurses can be valuable sources of information regarding health, medical resources and support groups and services. They can help you and your loved ones understand complex medical info and facilitate communication with medical staff. Parish nurses provide companionship and can act as a liaison among family members in difficult situations. And, they provide a safe environment when you need to vent—or a compassionate shoulder on which to cry.
There is no national directory of parish nurses, so you may need to call around to local houses of worship, your denomination's headquarters, or a local hospital chaplaincy department to find one in your community. To learn more about the practice of parish nursing, visit the International Parish Nurse Resource Center website or call them at (314) 918-2559.
Another good resource for getting answers is the Beatitudes Center for Developing Older Adult Resources' Nurse and Health Ministries Network (www.centerdoar.org). To call: (602) 274-5022.
Spinning your wheels when help is available is just one more way to make caregiving stressful. Asking for—and getting—the right kind of assistance, on the other hand, can make your days more productive and your time spent with loved ones more satisfying.