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ROLE OF A LIFETIME: LESSONS LEARNED BY BRIDGET

My mother's illness has made me more spiritual. I'd never been a religious person. I went to a Catholic school, my mom's Protestant, and many of my friends are Jewish. But a friend of my mother's recommended Buddhist books, like The Tibetan Book of Life and Death. I also read about Kabbalah. I learned that whether you believe in God or a "force" or whatever, being a good person is what makes you happier. And it taught me that if life pushes you past what you think you can handle, you can either choose to be miserable and say, "Why me?" or you can say, "What can I do?"

Mom's illness motivated me to do something about myself. I'd been fat since puberty. But instead of telling myself "I'm too depressed to do anything about it," a few years ago I began walking and working out with weights every morning. I thought, I can do this; nothing will stop me! If you believe that, you can do it. I lost 80 pounds and went from size 18 to a four-to-six.

Working with an organization like Kids In Kamp helps, too. The courage of those parents who have kids with cancer encourages me. I realize how important it is to accept the fact that I can't take away my mother's cancer or change the outcome, but I can have compassion for her and be with her.

My advice to caregivers is to try to do everything possible to put that sick person at ease, but you have to do things for yourself, too. I find that taking time to exercise lifts my spirits. I've also learned to live in the moment. You have to make the most of what's in front of you.